Mystery of Imperfection

Perfection. The epitome of the highest quality of skill, character, talent, or beauty. It’s easy to understand what perfection is, but it is so hard to attain.

I must confess that I am a perfectionist, almost obsessive in my pursuit. For years I served in music ministry in various churches. I served as choir director, as worship leader, and as music minister. I played various instruments in our church orchestra or praise band. As a music major in college, at times it was difficult for me to work with people that just wanted to sing in the choir, or play their high school instrument in the church orchestra. Some couldn’t read music, or if they could, they didn’t sight read well. They didn’t sing  parts as written; they sang what sounded good to them or whatever harmony they could find. I would spend hours making rehearsal tapes of each part to make it easy for them to learn the music. But, they wouldn’t listen to them. I would schedule sectional rehearsals to work on parts, but they wouldn’t come.

During those years, I found that my perfectionism caused tension in relationships. In my mind, my purpose was for us to give only our very best to God, and that takes some extra work, folks. It had been imprinted in me. I had professors who required, at minimum, three hours of practice everyday, even on Sunday. Everyone should be that dedicated, right? That was the only way to give your best. I didn’t always realize they were giving their best. They were giving their hearts. And God wants your heart above everything else.

I had to let it go. But, perfection stayed there, buried in the back of my mind. It would come out of hiding to be critical. It would come out to be boastful. It would sneak out to be hurtful.

I couldn’t understand why everyone didn’t pursue perfection, considering the alternative. We’re talking inadequacy, blemishes, flaws…failure. And after all, God’s word tells us, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48) But, does God mean perfect as in the perfection I was seeking from others?

In 2 Corinthians 12, the apostle Paul tells of pleading with the Lord to take away the thorn in his flesh, but the Lord tells him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for MY power is made perfect in weakness.” (v. 9) Paul responds by saying, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me…I delight in weaknesses…For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (vs. 9,10) Paul admonishes us not to boast in ourselves—enduring in our perfection—but to boast in God’s transforming power.

Weakness doesn’t sound like perfection to me. But, God’s perfection means completeness in Him, His perfect grace removing all defects from our weakness. His perfect grace making every part of us work to imitate God. His perfect grace leading us away from “the sin that so easily entangles”. (Heb. 12:1)

So, I am imperfect.

It was my husband who gave me the most vivid picture of the mystery of imperfection. He loves to work with wood, and has an impressive workshop with all kinds of wood. He had some old locust fence post wood that he was considering using for flooring in our basement. When I saw it, I said, “No way! That looks awful!” I wanted the pre-packaged stuff from the home store that all matched and was, well…perfect.

But, in his knowledge, my husband applied some Tung Oil to a piece of the wood, and transformed it. The oil brought out the figuring of the wood. The oil brought out the imperfections that gave the wood its beauty, its completeness. The beauty of its imperfection.

The Bible uses oil as a symbol of the Holy Spirit. When the Oil of the Spirit is applied to our lives, the Holy Spirit will lead us and guide us. He will comfort us when we are hurting. He will help us remember all that we know of God and will strengthen our faith. That oil will cover our weaknesses—our boastful perfection—focusing our hearts on the will of the Father.

I am imperfect. And knowing that, I will allow the oil of the Spirit to pour over me and transform me. Bringing to the surface the beauty of my imperfection…my imperfection that is made complete in God’s perfect grace.

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